Guest Starring Erik Estrada and Carrot Top...

Am I the only person who watches the ABC sitcom "The Neighbors?"  I might be.  But you're missing out.  When it debuted last season, I thought it was going to be the stupidest thing to ever air on television, but after watching a few episodes I fell in love with its goofiness, its likeable characters, and I let the horrible concept of aliens coming to earth slide.  But admit I watch it?  No way. 

I feel like this post is my coming out party.  I'm coming out of "The Neighbors" closet.  I have never seen an episode of Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, or American Horror Story, but I have seen every episode of "The Neighbors."  Yes.  It's true.  Throw your pop culture stones.

Last night's episode featured two guest stars, Erik Estrada, of CHIPS fame, and Las Vegas's own Carrot Top.  Both of these men have had guest starring roles in my life, so I thought I'd take this sniffling, sore-throated Saturday to tell you my Erik Estrada and Carrot Top stories. 

Let's start with Erik Estrada.

To properly understand this story you have to know my mom.  My mom prides herself in being a modern day Lucy Ricardo - able to find and harass celebrities in a single bound.  She has set her sights on many a celebrity in her day, and, for the most part, as found whoever it was she was seeking.  She was TMZ before TMZ was born.

When I was a baby, she had her eye on the men of CHIPS.  Actually, Erik Estrada wasn't her focus.  She wanted to get her hands on the blonde one - Larry Wilcox.  So when my family took a vacation to California, her goal was simple - limit sightseeing to tracking down CHIPS.  I don't know how much driving around it took, but, sure enough, she found where they were shooting.  She left my father in the car, grabbed infant me, and headed into the mass of trailers, wires, cameras and extras in search of Larry Wilcox.

But it wasn't Larry Wilcox that she found.  The first trailer she banged on was answered by the one, the only, the Ponch - Erik Estrada.  She greeted him warmly, had some random chit chat, and then asked him where Larry Wilcox was.  On a mission, my mother dumped me in Erik Estrada's arms and headed off to blonder pastures.

Yes, you read that right.  My Lucy Ricardo mother left me with Erik Estrada.

I suspect if she hadn't tracked down Larry Wilcox you all would know me as Gwen Estrada now.

As for Carrot Top, I'm sure most of you are aware how great his show is at Luxor in Las Vegas.  So often I hear people say, "I didn't want to go, but I ended up loving it."  It's the greatest back handed compliment ever.  Truth?  I felt the same way.  I didn't want to go.  And I feel like a jerk about it now.  After seeing his show a few times, I have to tell you that Carrot Top is probably the most genuine, good-hearted and funny entertainer I've seen.

I've gone several times now.  And every time I go, he looks out into the crowd and remembers my face.  I always wear a big flower with a carrot on it in my hair, so that probably helps the memory, but with all the people he sees every year - hell, all the people he sees every week - it blows my brain that he'd remember little ol' me.  And it makes me feel like he really appreciates his audience, doesn't take us for granted, and realizes that he wouldn't be where he is without us.  You know, those of us who said, "I didn't want to go, but I ended up loving it." 

So there are your confessions for the day - I watch The Neighbors, my mom left me with Erik Estrada, and I love Carrot Top.  I'm off to say my Hail Marys.